Upon reviewing my transcripts and the schedule which I have pre-planned for myself for the coming spring and next fall semesters, I have discovered that I will be able to graduate next December. Hooray! or at least one would think that was my initial though. Most disturbingly, this was the furthest thing from my mind at the time. The main thing which came to mind was, "then what?" School has occupied the majority of my time (at least indirectly) and in a way defined a large portion of my existence to this point, but I know I can't keep going. At least not right away. Which brings me back to the most recurring thread of thought in this blog, where am I going? This feeling of being infinitely lost has come to a head and a deadline (of sorts) is now quite clearly in view. I'm torn between a couple of ways: 1- Graduate school in English Literature at the University of Utah (in order to allow me to teach high school English in the near future, a job which would allow me to pursue my true passion--writing a novel [I have already started one but have gotten side tracked]) 2- Peace Corps (inspired by the experiences of my good friends who are now located in Kenya and South Africa, respectively) 3- Getting a real job and just chilling around here while taking a short break from school (This is probably the worst choice, because I don't think I would go back).
I know this is a long ways away, but for as long as I can remember I have had things planned out years in advance. Now here I am with less than 40 weeks of total undergraduate education left with no plan. Nothing. I guess the decision should be easy, to follow my heart as some would say. But my heart is mute and my brain is disoriented (this statement is not meant to be inferred as me believing in any sort of Cartesian dualism). I shouldn't worry I guess and should just focus on school, but I'm a control freak. And that is the last thing in the world that I feel like right now, in control. If I were to do Peace Corps or jump immediately into graduate school, I would really need to begin the application process this coming February--right around the time I turn 21. Maybe I should just follow the plan which me and Katelyn established a while back: Me living on the beach (see also: "beach bum") and teaching comparative religion while strung out on acid and listening to the Doors (the acid part is of course optional--especially considering that I have done no drugs that even come close to rivaling LSD-- and was only included due to my love of the Doors and the 1960s). If only this were feasible, then my decision would be simple. But damn the man, he's got to keep me down.
3 comments:
I completely understand planning everything out years in advance. How many times have I done that? Maybe it's the red in us. (by the way I took the color code again - haven't taken it in years) I'm still red (shocker!) but now even more so than before! I'm like 85% red. Good grief.
Anyway, just a tid-bit for you. If you want to write a novel but think you need a break from graduate school..then I highly recommend the PC! Seriously. If you survive training (which consumes every last ounce of energy and patience you have) then you have 2 years of a lot of free time in which to write. Plus you have plenty of stimulants or muses to inspire that great American novel. Jason is thinking about doing just that.
It's just a suggestion. But, PC does have its perks. While you don't make tons of $ while you're in it your resettling allowance is pretty decent. Plus you get two years of amazing experience while, at the same time, having the time to figure out what the heck to do with the next few years of your life! It is a bit lonely though. So, yeah, do what's best for you!
Oh and come visit us as a graduation present. We get December 1st - January 18 (more or less) off every year as it's 'summer break.' We could have loads and loads of fun.
I also am a years-in-advance planner. (Though notably, the last time I took the color test I think I only scored once in Red. Its all about the passive-aggressive White!)
As for thoughts on Grad school, I hope I can offer something. First off, the process for applications IS a time consuming and stressful pain in the ass. It's actually a pretty good indicator, because that is how Grad School has been for me thus far. But, I'm slightly jaded in that regard because I am in a strongly quantitative program with little quantitative background. I've talked to other Masters students who think their program is EASIER (and assuredly funner) than their undergrad. If you love what you study, you wont have any worries.
I would just say this. You'll always have time to go back for more schooling. I'm years younger than anyone else in my programming. I'd guess the average age for my cohort is around 32. So if you've got the drive to do something else before, do it. The U isn't going anywhere.
I'm not sure that that helped, but it's good to read your blogs and to get my mind off Property Tax Issues!
as you said in your post about being a personal trainer
"In fact, I do not agree with the system of setting appointments at all (it encourages people to live perpetually in the future, neglecting the present"
i think thats basically the same thing eh. i also have no idea what i am going to do with my life, but actually, when i read what you wrote, i thought, hmm, genius, i totally feel that. life is short and ive spent the last year thinking about what i want to do with my life instead of really living my life.
but these are my thoughts about that. when it comes down to it, no matter what you plan for your future, or do not plan, you never know what will happen. so why make a plan and follow it rigidly in hopes to reach a goal that you may or may not want when you get there.
i think having an idea of what you want in life and taking certain steps to attain it is good, but it seems that nature does not always have the same plan. so many things could happen in that time that may change the way we look at things or what our situation is in life, so, i guess what im getting down to, is that if you are on a certain path and you feel that you are in a good position for now, then keep going and just soak up what you have and just keep your mind open for new experiences and things that might come by, that you may not have noticed if you were always looking ahead. kind of like, there is a breathtaking sunset, and you want to capture it, so you scramble for your camera and are searching for it, and when you get back, its gone. instead of just taking in it when we see it.
yes yes. i think that makes sense. not that it needs to. because thats life.
hoooray.
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